16 Photoshopped Kids Books You Need to Put on Your Reading List

Look out, New York Times bestsellers list, we’ve got a crop of top tier young adult chapter books coming your way that are gonna knock your goddamn socks off, thanks to Paperback Paradise.

If ya like what ya see, get your grubby little mitts on some dope Paperback Paradise merchandise here.

1. Coincidentally, this is actually the name of George R.R. Martin’s final book installment of Game of Thrones.

2. Gaze upon his boils. He desires you.

3. The long awaited sequel to “Hmm I Don’t Think You’re Shit”.

4. I heard Zorgo the Red’s “Come Be My Friend” was like his Catcher in the Rye. He retreated to isolation after its success.

5. I heard this is what they based Guardians of the Galaxy off of.

6. How does she keep getting this number?!

7. As hot a love story as that nasty ass breff.

8. Not even the greatest kid detectives could get themselves out of a predicament this severe.

9. C’mon, spoilers dude.

10. Little did she know she was about to catch a Wiff O’dat Hot Breff.

11. It’s the only one I have and the boys are at the court waiting.

12. Keep your Bibles folks. All I need is my hardcopy of

13. Look at the guy on the right. That’s the face of a guilty man.

14. If you want me to stop lookin’, stop having weird hookup sessions in the thresholds of doors, mom.

15. Ball-havers, ye’ve been warned.

16. Hell yes. It’s a policeman’s right.

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15 Bosses Reveal the Craziest Sh*t They’ve Seen an Employee Do

Holding down a job is an important part of adult life. What you do at that job can really make or break your future.

We’re not sure if these people are insane, but we’re impressed but the weird stuff they’ve actually done while they were still employed. 

1. We had no idea Tom Hanks moonlights as a welder.

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2. Do you think his crush was impressed, tho?

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3. I mean, free food, ammirite?

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4. Never drink and deliver packages. 

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5. He’s rich in Vitamon V.

Bosses Reveal the Craziest Sh*t They've Seen an Employee Do

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6. Anyone who wears crocs should be fired on the spot.

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7. Goddammit, Vickie.

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8. YOU CAN’T FIRE ME, I QUIT.

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9. Who needs a phone for entertainment on the shitter when you can eavesdrop on your boss?

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10. Well, that’s an innovative way to drink on the job.

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11. So what? He just gave his friend a 5 finger discount!

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12. I wonder how pissed off about the piss boy the manager was afterwards…

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13. I mean, no one can PROVE the ladder didn’t fall off by accident…

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14. He may not be employed anymore, but that doesn’t mean you can just stop paying him.

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15. Every vodka bottle has a silver lining.

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12 Tumblr Posts About Drugs That Are 100% Accurate

Kids, don’t do drugs.

Or do, whatever, we’re not your parents.

But at least listen to Tumblr because they seem to know what they’re talking about. So whether or not you can relate, enjoy the musings one of our favorite sites has about getting high. 

1. Peer pressure is a myth! 

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2. Yeah, but if you get high, these things are so much more enjoyable.

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3. This picture can only have been taken if drugs were involved. 

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4. I think the future is something we can ALL look foward to. 

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5. Anyone who has ever tried to act sober while drunk, this one’s for you.

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6. Grandma is so (street) wise!

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7. We all knew jerking off and getting high was a great combo, but we didn’t know there was a great term for it!

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8. We all know that ONE guy.

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9. The guy on toaster duty is always reliable when it comes to weed jokes. 

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10. It’s been scientifcally proven that there’s no difference between a child and an adult on shrooms. 

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11. They alway say the best comedians are depressed. This guy proves that to be correct.

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12. Ugh, bubble wrap is seriously addictive, tho.

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10 Hilarious Bits Of Standup From Up & Coming Comedians

If you don’t have the time or money to head to a comedy club near you (or *gasp* don’t live in a town with a standup scene), here’s what you’re missing out on.

1. Jeremy Kaplowitz – whose greatest weakness is “being desperately aware of his own ennui” (and also “he cares TOO much”)

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2. Zoe Rogers – who understands the lifecycle of McDonald’s fandom

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3. Scott Bolander – who never technically tells us which kind of ‘smart’ he is

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4.  Suzie Lawrence – she’s got the best paranoia & nails in town

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5. Samatha Ruddy – half humanitarian, half comedian

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6. Deepu Gill – whose smile may be hiding years of regret

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7. Nathan Anderson – Superman skeptic

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8. Narin Vann – the most underrated, joke-telling stripper

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9. Sierra Katow – who probably never forgets to lock her doors at night

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10. Jeremy Hammond – or ‘The man who has timed the snake dialogue in the Harry Potter movies’

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14 NSFW Spongebob Memes For You All You Dirty Dans Out There

Spongebob may be a kid’s show, but the kids who watched it when it came out are full grown dirty dogs now. And they are wasting no time sexualizing the shit out of the totally innocuous, never sexually suggestive Bikini Bottom. Hmm wait…

1. I never realized this fish’s name was Harold. Double mind blown.

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2. Anyone here who thinks they’re above eating Patrick Star’s ass can get the fuck out.

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3. Spongebob isn’t going to be paying doubloons for this ride…

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4. This is a surefire way to turn yourself into a Krusty Krab.

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5. Time to enter MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!!!

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6. No character in this show is safe from this. Sorry real estate lady.

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7. As a dude covered in holes, I can imagine he’d be a little skeptical.

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8. Art thou feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?

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9. My desires are…buoyant. 

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10. Damn this fish too? Need a spinoff show of this guy and Harold dating every girl fish in Bikini Bottom.

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11. …and THEN you’ll blow up!

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12. The animators for Spongebob clearly got on an ass drawing kick, and we’re all here for it.

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14. Drinkable Sausage: Quench your thirst with a weiner™.NSFW Spongebob Memes For You All You Dirty Dans Out There

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13 People Who’ve Been Scammed Explain What Happened & How Much They Lost

Trust no one.

1. Can’t tell if bad or great parenting.

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2. Damn. They “invented” a sick-ass scam.

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3. The embarrassment is the worst part of half the scams.

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4. As if your identity being verified would make this ‘girl’ feel more safe?

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5. Her house is a pyramid scheme graveyard.

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6. If you try using Target gift cards, they add 3 years to your sentence.

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7. That lady is honestly onto something.

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8. This scam is kinda light-hearted and fun. I mean, until he demands you fork over the $5.

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9. Always follow your scam-detecting gut.

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10. Hard to take a company named Quixtar seriously.

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11. Western Union in itself has become a red flag for scammery.

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12. $100,000 scams are the most painful scams. 

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13. The player gave him loads of gold, he logged back in, and his friend gave a nice hug, strengthening their friendship for years to come. 🙂

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